When I walk into an event that was advertised as being for liberty, or freedom, it never fails that there will always be a set of guys that always show up. Even if you expressly “forgot” invite them. Lord knows that you know a few of them too.
This is a quick list of things to look for if you happen across a group of folks and think you may have fallen down the rabbit hole. If you see one or all of these guys, chances are you’ve stumbled into a meeting of libertarian. If you see these folks, its ok, just quote some Ayn Rand and sit down slowly.
1. New Libertarian: This type of chap or lass will likely be carrying a book or two with them, just in case the conversation gets boring. Cause reading a book in front of complete strangers when you specifically came to “hang out” is NOT weird at all. A book bag or school embroidered shirt/polo will likely be worn by this individual. Now, I have to admit that at one point in my life, I was this guy. I’d carry a copy of the current Terry Goodkind novel with me wherever I went, and on more than one occasion was told by my indigent mother that it was, quote, unquote “rude to read in public”. I was a weird kid, what can I say. Don’t be offended if this one cracks a book while
2. Dude wearing camouflage pants or other more exotic military gear. He’ll sit with his back to the wall and say it’s for “safety”, then give you the thousand yard stare. This particular cat spends long days of listening to survivalist podcasts and packing his own ammo. He’ll also be able to tell you where the best local army surplus stores can be found and also advise you to not buy from the paintball shop, cause they’re “statist rubes for the Military Industrial Complex”. He’s never been in the military, but if you like guns he’s your man. Make sure to get his number in case the fluoride in the water ever turns your neighbors into Waling Dead style zombies.
3. New World Order conspiracy guy: When I was a kid the NWO was a small group of pro wrestlers made up of Hulk Hogan, Kevin Nash and others that were trying to take down the leadership of the World Championship Wrestling. It was a funny and rather humorous storyline from 90’s PRO wrestling. But unlike the New World Order of TV, some folks actually believe that a group of power brokers are trying to influence the U.S. from the shadows and their plan includes that U.N, mind control and other nefarious activities. Every political movement has it wing nuts and ours is no different. So if you hear the guy talking about Obama using Neuro-Linguistic Programming to implant ideas in your head, you’ve probably just met the guy that was not sent the invite, but showed up anyway. Smile politely and move to the other end of the table.
Special Bonus #4: If you’ve been to a libertarian party meeting in the last month and you haven’t see ANY of the above guys…chances are you ARE THAT GUY. Put your back to the wall and order yourself a drink. Welcome to the movement.