Infomercials: Libertarian Porn

After “mainstream” television is over for the evening and the good citizens have gone to sleep, that’s when the good TV starts. Skin-iMax is for sexually repressed republicans, and liberals listen to arousing and titillating tales of the oft “endangered” herbivore that is part the local NPR pledge week. These shows amount to collective self diddling by politicos.

We libertarians know that the market is real democracy at work and nothing embodies pure unadulterated capitalism like Infomercials. One can’t help but to be captivated by the method and skill of those pitchmen who populate the overnight shift of modern television. Ron Popeil and Billy Mays are legends in this world. Every one of the products has been specifically designed to look, smell, and feel in a way that creates desire in the customer. Nothing has been left to chance. Every moment has been scripted with exacting precision, and every word has been practiced, so that it will be relayed with the right emotional timing.

Watching the market work is an erotic experience. Efforts are economized and profits maximized. Bing! Every aspect is customer-centric to a fault. Bang! This is the beauty of pure capitalism, everybody wins. BOOM!  “But wait, there’s more!”

So next time you run your hand over the sleek and saucy body of your “Magic Bullet Blender”, or you pick up a hot guy/girl who has a “P90X body”, just remember this wasn’t done because a Michelle Obama had a good idea. It’s because someone was up late watching libertarian porn and you are welcome

 

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