Personalized Security Systems (the 3 Levels to Home Liberation)

Most people are happy and content with doing the occasional project around the house like mowing the lawn, changing the oil in their car, or even something more involved like building a tree house. This shows the average person that they have not lost touch with the Do It Yourself-er or entrepreneur-self, and on the off chance it gets fucked up, there’s always some smug capitialist down the road to fix our mess. And of course we “almost had it”.

Now that may satisfy average ‘Joe/Jane’ on the street, but Libertarians are Freedom Fighters, which means no government-sanctioned hack is going to touch our property. And if you think personal security is any different, you will need to pull your government-educated head out of your sugar-subsidized @$$ brother and listen up. There are exactly three levels to building a perfect security system that will keep most any Demo-Con or Republi-crat off your lawn and out of you hair.

Phase 1: Signage and general F**K OFF atmosphere

This is a key part to letting your neighbors, the mailman, and any would-be Commie pamphleteer know that they have landed in Free-America. Catchy signs with double meanings like, “Beware of Owner” or “Trespassers will be shot on sight, Survivors will be shot again” were all the rage during the 90’s, but modern day freedom lovers have become a bit more subtle in recent years. For the more low key libertarian, a Gadsden Flag, one size too big for your flag holder, probably should do the trick.

Another slightly more expensive way to get the message across is to buy several cameras from your local Radio Shack or Best Buy and install them pointing away from your house. That’s were all the statist slugs can be found. If you have a neighbor adjacent to your property (and he’s not a freedom fighter), make sure to line one or two of them up with his windows to let him know who’s boss. When he comes to complain about the fact you camera is pointing right in his bedroom, refer to Phase 2.

Phase 2: The best Defense is a Good Offense

Putting a big stick or 2×4 next to your bed may give you the extra piece of mind when going to bed after a long night of looking up obscure political quotes online. But in the end, we all know that the only REAL security is a piece of hard steel strapped between your legs. Also known as a firearm. Keep in mind that “Assault Weapons” are the only kinda a real red blooded liberty lover buys, so if you want the tickle-me-elmo kind of gun, move to Canada or better yet France. When THEY (criminals, the New World Order, or 1980’s Soviets, read Ivan Drago) come for you the only thing stopping them from taking Free America is you and your trusty aresenal. Keep calm and Double Tap On.

Phase 3: In the game of life, Cement beats Zombies

Ok. So at this point all your Sh*t is safe, but that don’t mean the U.S. dollar isn’t off the road to hell or that the GMO Mansanto Franken-foods will not spawn a herd of mindless, flesh-eating zombies (Walking Dead or Obama style, your pick). So when the end of days is upon us, do you want to be the guy in the red shirt on a Star Trek away team Or would you rather be Rick Grimes, bitch?

Easy choice.

If you got the dough, deep underground is probably your best bet so save your 98% copper pennies for one of these (not an affiliate link) But for working folks, a few hundred bucks at you local Menards should give you enough to buy 2×8’s and cement mix to build that little addition under the garage that has been nagging at you for the last several years.

Your Family and Free America Thanks You.

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